Dirty Little Secret
by persephassax
Summary: Sasunaru Oneshot, got the idea from the song Dirty Little Secret by The AllAmerican Rejects. R&R please! AU


A/N: Yeah, a little SasuNaru ficcy, from **Naruto**'s point of view. Its AU and their grown-up. Got the idea while listening to the All-American Rejects song "Dirty Little Secret". I guess it could be called a SongFic but really I only use pieces of the song. So yeah. For

Disclaimer: Do you see lots of Yaoi when you watch the episodes or read the books? Is Gaara in every episode? Are the girls not crazed fan-girls? No? THEN NO I DON'T OWN NARUTO!!! (don't rub it in… )

People waiting for updates on "Sealed", sorry, I'm just confused about how to explain that last piece of that last chapter. –sweat drops-

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**Dirty Little Secret**

I'm in love with this man. He says he loves me. No one knows. I'm not allowed to say anything about any of the time I spend with him. He's married. With kids. It would crush his wife. I would feel bad but really, its killing me.

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret._

He's amazing, beautiful, charming, nice. And totally completely unbelievably unmistakably astoundingly NOT MINE. I know him better than his wife ever will because I'm a secret he keeps from her. That puts me miles ahead of her. On top of that I never have anyone who asks me "how do you stand it?" because I'm not allowed to say anything to anyone about this entire… THING. He tells his wife he's going on a business trip, on a conference, that he has to stay over somewhere, that he's going to stay late a work, not to wait up for him. He does no such things, he spends his time with me.

_You are the only one who needs to know._

According to him, since none of this never happened, I don't have to tell anyone about what we do. It feels like he's using me when I'm alone. But when I'm with him it makes me feel so safe and warm. When he tells me he loves me I believe every word he says. He tells me at home with his wife and kids, that he's living a lie. When I'm with him I agree with him completely. When I'm alone I think what we have together is the lie. If no one knows then how is it real on any level, I ask him. He always replies that isn't a lie some thing that everyone knows and believes but isn't true? How can I argue with that kind of logic? I can't so I don't.

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret._

When ever he leaves me, its always with the same threat. I better not tell anyone or he'll never come back. I love him so much. It would completely totally absolutely crush me if he stayed away. He's a drug I can't let go. So no one needs to know. The few friends I have think I'm really weird. Normally I jump at any chance I get to spend time with them, but some days when HE's coming I forgo any other plans I may or may not have made, any offers given to me to spend time with him. I never have an excuse to give them either. Its horrible.

_Find out games you don't want to play._

I don't know which kills me more. Not being able to tell anyone about it. Or not having him. Not being able to see him would be horrible. But I also wish I could come out and say, "yeah, I'm in love with this amazing guy, yes I get him in bed, yes, yes, yes." But I'm not allowed even that. Why does that saying always ring true? About great guys being any number of things, including married. Most people view that as being off-limits, physically.

_Let me know I've done wrong when I've known it all along._

This is so wrong. My life is so wrong. I know it but isn't the forbidden fruit the sweetest? What things you can't, aren't, shouldn't have always better than what's rightfully yours? No one has any idea how amazing it is to know that I'm special, I make him forgo all the lines of society, etiquette, and duty, just for me. But I'm not allowed to say "I'm special."

_Go around a time or two, just to waste my time with you._

Sometimes, when he has a free space in his schedule, isn't needed at work, or busy with his wife, he'll come see me. His black hair, matching his eyes, contrasted against his white skin, perfect features. All mine just for a little while. Sometimes we don't do anything at all in these times. They are the few times I truly feel loved and not used. We might just sit on the couch with each other. Wasting time, but together.

_When we live such fragile lives, it's the best way we survive._

His image would be ruined if anyone found out, a big scandal. Probably most people would paste the blame on me, saying that I seduced him or something ridiculous like that. Maybe even some of my friends, more rooted with tradition, ethics, and values, would turn against me. The entire scale is balanced very precariously, keeping the secret is the only way we can keep the whole thing afloat.

_Tell me all that you've thrown away._

I've given him everything I've got. I don't spend time with people who care about me for him. I do so many things for him. Sometimes I wish we would come out and say "I love him, he loves me." But then I wonder if that's giving to much. It would be giving away the happiness of others, and do I, do we, really have the right to do that? I don't know.

_Dirty Little Secret._

In the end, its all about secrets. I have mine, you have yours I'm sure. I don't know how many lives are depending on yours. I've got some balanced on this secret; mine, his, his wife's, his kids', my friends'. Anyone who is anyway connected to me or him would be affected by this. I'll keep loving him, keeping my mouth shut. I'll kill myself inside so that I can keep him close to me.

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A/N: I put this in our world, with the kind of restrictions that Would be prevalent here, because I understand them a -tad- better. You know. But what I'm trying to capture here is how difficult that relationship would be. I added restrictions to make it make more sense but really, no matter how open it would be their emotions, ambitions, et. al. would make it difficult for them. I tried to capture that. Did I do a good job?

Review please!!! I need to know how I did.


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